Where in the world is Brad?

I am in a cubicle on the third floor of the building opposite the Tesco in Děčín in the Czech Republic.

My television at the hotel in Hřensko had only ten stations available: two in Czech, eight in German. I watched an episode of Scrubs dubbed into German this morning. I don’t think the people doing the dubbing were adequately replicating the speech cadences of the actors; in particular, the Dr. Cox character lost a little something. Had I not needed sleep, I might have watched an episode from the first season of Prison Break in Czech last night.

It’s very difficult trying to eat well here. Wait, scratch that. It’s very difficult to eat correctly here. It’s no trouble at all eating a sufficient amount. I just wish they’d serve Coke in something larger than the lilliputian size; I think the bottles are 250 milliliters (about eight ounces).

I’ve driven twice this week. That’s a bigger deal than it sounds because our car has a manual transmission and I don’t know how to drive one. I understand the concepts, but the techniques aren’t in muscle memory yet.

Tonight we drive to Praha (Prague) to stay at the Marriott at the airport. Our flight leaves at 9:20 AM for Amsterdam. After a little more than two hours there, we leave at a quarter after one on our eight hour and forty-five minute flight to Detroit. We’re scheduled to arrive at four.

(Comments from old site:)

That is a big deal.

It’s a bigger deal if you’re in the car with someone else that might judge you, even just a little. Are there coworkers with you, or did you travel alone?

I think you drive a little worse with new people in the car. At least I did. George Piskorz was (I think) the first person I drove with after Lisa taught me how to drive her manual transmission truck. Plus, it was in Texas. My experience with the hills dwarfs, I’m sure, (Is that an insensitive cliche’? I apologize if it is.) in comparison with driving in another country in a vehicle not your own.

Driving in the Czech Republic

Yes, I’m here with a coworker, but he knew I didn’t know anything about manual transmissions. The different signs and the various widths of streets are a little disconcerting.

Heading to Děčín again

I’m going to Děčín again. I’m leaving late Sunday afternoon and returning Friday afternoon. Then, Friday night, I’m taking the girls camping with my family. I might be a little sleepy at that time.

Where was Sarah in 1787?

Article 1, Section 10, paragraph 2.

There shouldn’t be an apostrophe. See the misspelling for yourself on page 2 of the copy of the Constitution at the National Archives.

Happy Constitution Day!

Constitution Day resources at the Library of Congress web site

I can’t believe I forgot to get out the Constitution Day decorations.

To celebrate, why not download the Constitution of the United States and the Declaration of Independence, Pocket Edition [PDF, 416kiB] from the U.S. Government Printing Office?

Please, oh please, don’t let this suck

“Hitchhiker’s Guide” series to ride again

LONDON (Reuters) - Children’s author Eoin Colfer is to write a sixth novel in the “Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” series, seven years after the death of its creator Douglas Adams, publishers Penguin said on Wednesday.

Addy gets new glasses

“Now, see, with these glasses, you won’t get any older and you won’t ever die.”

Brad’s contribution to the English language

col•lins |ˈkɒlɪnz| informal
verb [ intrans. ]
move in a predictable manner until a particular time or until a particular event occurs : he chose to collins around until his wife came out of the store.
ORIGIN : named after American astronaut Michael Collins (1930–), member of Apollo 11 crew who orbited the Moon while Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin landed on the lunar surface.

Won’t someone please think of the children?

Oh my God! What are they doing to this baby! Someone help!

You know, I have one simple request. And that is to have babies with frickin’ laser beams attached to their heads!

Allan jammin' to the beat

Ken Jennings’s alphabet mural

It took him over a year, but Ken Jennings (the guy that won all that money on Jeopardy a few years ago) painted a beautiful mural on his daughter’s wall.

A-C D-G H-L M-P Q-V W-Z

Buying the correct scissors for the Oval Office

From The Economist:

WHETHER Barack Obama or John McCain triumphs in November, the victor will be the eighth left-handed president of America. While making up just 10% of the general populace, 18% of American presidents have been lefties, perhaps given extra drive by centuries of persecution. Of the past six presidents, four have been cack-handed.

Those four were Gerald Ford, Ronald Reagan, George H. W. Bush, and Bill Clinton. Both Elena and I are left-handed. Or cack-handed, but only when we’re in Britain.

Allan crawls

Helen saw Allan crawl for the first time yesterday, and she captured some of it on video. You can see a larger version of the same video here.

“Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog” available again at Hulu

Here’s the entire video I mentioned in this post. It’s forty-some minutes long, but I recommend you find the time. Neil Patrick Harris as a wannabe supervillain. This is the one. Lots of singing. Dr. Horrible. Tell your friends.

(Comment from old site:)

You're right.

That was worth the time. I especially enjoyed the damp guy bringing Dr. Horrible the mail. And Bad Horse’s letters. He was funny. Made me laugh. That was it. I’ll tell my friends. :) ~A

Randy Pausch, 1960–2008

From an article on Carnegie Mellon’s web site:

Randy Pausch, the professor at Carnegie Mellon University who inspired countless students in the classroom and others worldwide through his highly acclaimed last lecture, has died of complications from pancreatic cancer. He was 47.

I posted the video of his lecture entitled “Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams” back in October. Pausch died Friday, July 25.

Moon Day 2008

Happy belated Moon Day, everyone! 39 years ago, on July 20, 1969, we landed on the moon. We haven’t been back in over 35 years.

The moon

Will Ebert and Roeper create another show?

I saw via a Reuters article that Roger Ebert and Richard Roeper are officially leaving their eponymous show. Roger Ebert, my favorite film critic, hasn’t been on the show for a year or two. The thumbs left the show earlier this year, leaving the two critics (typically Roeper and Michael Phillips) to offer “See It”, “Skip It”, and an occassional “Rent It” recommendation.

Maybe — maybe — they’re preparing to start another show, perhaps one that gives them more of something (control? money? visibility?). The evidence is circumstantial but compelling: they announce within a day of each other that they’re leaving the show, and as I mentioned, the famous thumbs have already left; they each reference the standards or tradition of the old show in their statements; in Ebert’s statement, he states “the thumbs will return”.

My favorite off-the-cuff jokes

“They’re in the Missing Shriner formation!”

Jerry Montgomery, at a parade in Brazil, Indiana, when the Shriners appeared with their Mini Cars

“There’s always room for cello.”

Me, when we were trying to put Helen’s nephew Paul’s cello into a car and someone said it wouldn’t fit

Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog

Joss Whedon has created yet another enjoyable show. This one’s Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog, and for a very limited time you can see it at http://www.drhorrible.com/. I highly recommend it. It’s short (about forty minutes in all), it’s funny, and it’s a musical. What’s not to like?

For the record, the members of the Evil League of Evil are:

  • Professor Normal
  • Fake Thomas Jefferson
  • Tie-Die
  • Dead Bowie
  • Fury Leika
  • Snake Bite
  • Bad Horse

Not counting Dr. Horrible, who may or may not get in by the end of the three-act episode.

UPDATE: The limited time is up. You can see previews or buy it from iTunes, or you can ask to watch it on Helen’s iPhone when you see her next. It’s forty-some minutes long, but it is worth it.

Videos from Helen’s Two Weeks Notice concert

Shambala

Jessie’s Girl

Boys of Summer

Car Crash

Can’t Buy Me Love

Funny fictional berries

Today at lunch, a coworker was telling us about a berry found in the Amazon rain forest that’s being put into different juices and such, but he couldn’t remember the name. Another coworker commented, “It’s the genetically altered Boo Berry,” and we all laughed. (The actual berry is the açaí berry (pronounced [asaˈi]).)

As an off-the-cuff joke, I think that was great, but it made me wonder if there’s a better choice for that joke given more time to think about it. I considered:

  • Boo Berry
  • Franken Berry
  • Smurf Berry

I think my favorite is Smurf Berry. Smurfs are always funny.

Rotating snakes: the peripheral drift illusion

"Rotating snakes" (printer-adjusted version)

This demonstrates the peripheral drift illusion. It’s the printer-adjusted “rotating snakes” image from A. Kitaoka’s site.

EDIT: Please note that the thing that makes this interesting is that the images are not animated. These are static images that trick your eye into thinking that there’s movement.

Elena on Dr. Pepper

“Dr. Pepper is a kind of pepper that helps people.” — Elena

“Reform Michigan Government Now!” text comparison

The “Reform Michigan Government Now!” proposal would make several changes to the Michigan Constitution. This post compares the RMGN text to the Michigan Constitution text, showing the changes, sans commentary (except in the Comments section), in the clearest way I could. The Michigan Constitution text is from a PDF on the Michigan Legislature site; the RMGN text is taken from a PDF on the RMGN site.

Warning: This post is long.

(Removed text looks like this. New text looks like this.)

CONSTITUTION OF THE STATE OF MICHIGAN OF 1963

ARTICLE II

Sec. 1. Every citizen of the United States who has attained the age of 2118 years, who has resided in this state six months, who is neither an illegal alien nor a legal resident alien, and who meets the requirements of local residence provided by law, shall be an elector and qualified to vote in any election except as otherwise provided in this constitution. The legislature shall define residence for voting purposes.

Sec. 4. The legislature shall enact laws to regulate the time, place and manner of all nominations and elections, except as otherwise provided in this constitution or in the constitution and laws of the United States. The legislature shall enact laws to preserve the purity of elections, to preserve the secrecy of the ballot, to guard against abuses of the elective franchise, including enactment of laws for the prevention and punishment of election and petition fraud, to require that post election audits of the vote records and tabulations be conducted on a regular basis in order to insure the accuracy of the vote count and to require that the results of such audits be open to the public, and to provide for a system of voter registration and absentee voting. An elector who timely requests an absent voter ballot shall receive such a ballot without giving a reason. Any voting system or device used in the state shall produce durable paper records allowing verification that the vote was accurately recorded. No state or local government official having responsibility for administering or supervising an election shall endorse or give political support to any candidate or ballot question in that election. No law shall be enacted which permits a candidate in any partisan primary or partisan election to have a ballot designation except when required for identification of candidates for the same office who have the same or similar surnames.

Sec. 7. A board of state canvassers of four members shall be established by law. No candidate for an office to be canvassed nor any inspector of elections shall be eligible to serve as a member of a board of canvassers. A majority of any board of canvassers shall not be composed of members of the same political party.
There is hereby established an autonomous and nonpartisan agency within the executive branch of state government called the Michigan office of elections which shall be directed by the director of elections. The director of elections and employees of the Michigan office of elections shall be members of the state classified civil service and subject to the employment rules and regulations of the Michigan civil service commission. The director of elections shall be the state officer with supervisory authority over state and local election officials and federal, state and local elections, and shall have responsibility for administering, implementing, interpreting and administrative enforcement of the election laws of this state, including all laws related to the financing of election campaigns for or against candidates and ballot questions, election recounts, the recall of elected public officials, and lobbying laws. The director of elections shall serve as the permanent secretary of the independent and nonpartisan commission on legislative districting described in Article IV, Sections 4, 5 and 6 of this Constitution with the powers and duties described therein. Vacancies in the office of director of elections shall be filled by the Michigan Civil Service Commission,which shall have the exclusive authority to select and employ the director of elections based upon the employment criteria specified in Article XI, Section 5 of this Constitution. The Governor may initially implement this section by Executive Order. The powers and duties of the Michigan office of elections and the director of elections, however, shall not, after an initial allocation be reallocable pursuant to Article V, Section 2 or by law. To enable the director of elections to exercise his or her powers, the legislature shall appropriate, annually, sufficient funds for the establishment, staffing and operation of the Michigan office of elections and director of elections.

Sec. 9. The people reserve to themselves the power to propose laws and to enact and reject laws, called the initiative, and the power to approve or reject laws enacted by the legislature, called the referendum. The power of initiative extends only to laws which the legislature may enact under this constitution. The power of referendum does not extend to acts making general appropriations for state institutions as defined in Article IV, Section 31 or to meet deficiencies in state funds and must be invoked in the manner prescribed by law within 90 days following the final adjournment of the legislative session at which the law was enacted. To invoke the initiative or referendum, petitions signed by a number of registered electors, not less than eight percent for initiative and five percent for referendum of the total vote cast for all candidates for governor at the last preceding general election at which a governor was elected shall be required.

ARTICLE IV

Sec. 2. The senate shall consist of 3828 members to be elected from single member districts at the same election as the governor for four-year terms on a staggered basis from contiguous single member districts created as provided in this article. Effective for the 2010 election, one-half of the senate candidates running for office shall be elected as provided in this article at the same election as the governor for four-year terms concurrent with the term of office of the governor. Effective for the 2010 election only, one-half of the senate candidates running for office shall be elected for a two-year term of office as provided in this article. Effective for the 2012 election and continuing thereafter, one-half of the senate candidates running for office shall be elected as provided in this article at the same election as the President of the United States for four-year terms.concurrent with the term of office of the governor.
In districting the state for the purpose of electing senators after the official publication of the total population count of each federal decennial census, each county shall be assigned apportionment factors equal to the sum of its percentage of the state’s population as shown by the last regular federal decennial census computed to the nearest one-one hundredth of one percent multiplied by four and its percentage of the state’s land area computed to the nearest one-one hundredth of one percent.
In arranging the state into senatorial districts, the apportionment commission shall be governed by the following rules:
(1) Counties with 13 or more apportionment factors shall be entitled as a class to senators in the proportion that the total apportionment factors of such counties bear to the total apportionment factors of the state computed to the nearest whole number. After each such county has been allocated one senator, the remaining senators to which this class of counties is entitled shall be distributed among such counties by the method of equal proportions applied to the apportionment factors.
(2) Counties having less than 13 apportionment factors shall be entitled as a class to senators in the proportion that the total apportionment factors of such counties bear to the total apportionment factors of the state computed to the nearest whole number. Such counties shall thereafter be arranged into senatorial districts that are compact, convenient, and contiguous by land, as rectangular in shape as possible, and having as nearly as possible 13 apportionment factors, but in no event less than 10 or more than 16. Insofar as possible, existing senatorial districts at the time of reapportionment shall not be altered unless there is a failure to comply with the above standards.
(3) Counties entitled to two or more senators shall be divided into single member districts. The population of such districts shall be as nearly equal as possible but shall not be less than 75 percent nor more than 125 percent of a number determined by dividing the population of the county by the number of senators to which it is entitled. Each such district shall follow incorporated city or township boundary lines to the extent possible and shall be compact, contiguous, and as nearly uniform in shape as possible.

Sec. 3. The house of representatives shall consist of 11082 members elected for two-year terms from contiguous single member districts apportioned on a basis of populationcreated as provided in this article. The districts shall consist of compact and convenient territory contiguous by land.
Each county which has a population of not less than seven-tenths of one percent of the population of the state shall constitute a separate representative area. Each county having less than seven-tenths of one percent of the population of the state shall be combined with another county or counties to form a representative area of not less than seven-tenths of one percent of the population of the state. Any county which is isolated under the initial allocation as provided in this section shall be joined with that contiguous representative area having the smallest percentage of the state’s population. Each such representative area shall be entitled initially to one representative.
After the assignment of one representative to each of the representative areas, the remaining house seats shall be apportioned among the representative areas on the basis of population by the method of equal proportions.
Any county comprising a representative area entitled to two or more representatives shall be divided into single member representative districts as follows:
(1) The population of such districts shall be as nearly equal as possible but shall not be less than 75 percent nor more than 125 percent of a number determined by dividing the population of the representative area by the number of representatives to which it is entitled.
(2) Such single member districts shall follow city and township boundaries where applicable and shall be composed of compact and contiguous territory as nearly square in shape as possible.
Any representative area consisting of more than one county, entitled to more than one representative, shall be divided into single member districts as equal as possible in population, adhering to county lines.

Sec. 4. In counties having more than one representative or senatorial district, the territory in the same county annexed to or merged with a city between apportionments shall become a part of a contiguous representative or senatorial district in the city with which it is combined, if provided by ordinance of the city. The district or districts with which the territory shall be combined shall be determined by such ordinance certified to the secretary of state. No such change in the boundaries of a representative or senatorial district shall have the effect of removing a legislator from office during his term.An independent non-partisan commission on legislative districting shall be established following the adoption of this section and following each federal decennial census thereafter.The commission shall have sole and exclusive authority over and responsibility for legislative districting.The commission shall exist until its legislative districting plans for that decade become law, except as otherwise set forth in this article.
The commission shall consist of nine electors, four of whom shall be selected by each of the two major political parties. No officers or employees of the federal, state or local governments, except notaries public and members of the armed forces reserve, shall be eligible for membership on the commission. No registered lobbyist shall be eligible for membership on the commission. Members of the commission shall not be eligible for election to the legislature or to serve as a registered lobbyist until ten years after the districting in which they participated becomes law. The ninth commissioner shall be a person who is not a member of any political party, shall be elected by a majority vote of at least six of the eight other members, and shall serve as chair of the commission. If, after four ballots, no candidate receives at least six votes, the director of elections shall choose by lot between two candidates, one submitted by each major political party’s commissioners. Commission vacancies shall be filled in the same manner as for original selection.
The commission may elect other officers by a majority vote of at least six of its nine members, shall make its own rules of procedure, shall keep a record of its public proceedings, shall solicit plans from the public and shall hold public hearings on proposed plans before their adoption.The legislature shall appropriate sufficient funds to enable the commission to carry out its activities.
Within 30 days after this section takes effect, and after the official total population count of each federal decennial census of the state and its political subdivisions is available thereafter, the director of elections shall issue a call convening the commission not less than 30 nor more than 45 days thereafter. The commission shall proceed to prepare a legislative districting plan for the senate and a legislative districting plan for the house of representatives according to the provisions of this article. The commission shall complete its work within 180 days of convening.
Decisions adopting plans shall require a majority vote of at least six of the nine commission members at a public meeting. A plan so adopted shall be the final legislative districting plan for that decade, except as otherwise provided in this article. If at least six of the nine members of the commission cannot timely agree on a plan, the director of elections shall choose by lot between two plans, one plan from each major political party, that meet all the requirements of this article as determined by the chair of the commission, and that have been submitted and exchanged at least 10 days prior thereto.A plan drawn by lot shall be the final legislative districting plan for that decade, except as otherwise provided in this article.
The final legislative districting plans for the senate and for the house of representatives shall immediately become law. The director of elections shall be responsible for the publication and distribution of the plans.

Sec. 5. Island areas are considered to be contiguous by land to the county of which they are a part.A final legislative districting plan which becomes law shall remain in effect until another plan becomes law in accordance with this article after the next federal decennial census. A plan shall not be subject to amendment, approval, rejection, or repeal by initiative, referendum, resolution or act of the legislative branch, action of the executive branch or by any other procedure or person. A final legislative districting plan which becomes law shall be conclusive evidence that the plan complies with the requirements of this article. It is the policy and preference of this state that only impartial unelected federal judges should decide any legal challenge to a final legislative districting plan, and accordingly, notwithstanding any other provision of this constitution, no state court shall have jurisdiction over any case or controversy relating to the commission or to a final legislative districting plan. If a final legislative districting plan is found to violate federal law by a federal court or the United States Department of Justice, the plan should be remanded to the commission which shall convene solely for the preparation of a revised plan consistent with federal law and this article. Sections 4 through 6 of this Article IV shall be self-executing, and no action of the legislative, executive or judicial branches or any other state or local elected or appointed official shall limit or restrict the application of those sections. The provisions of Sections 4 through 6 are severable, and if any part of those sections or application of any part of those sections to any person or circumstance is found to be invalid under federal law or the federal constitution by a federal court or federal agency, the validity shall not affect the remaining portions or applications of those sections which shall remain in full force and effect.

Sec. 6. A commission on legislative apportionment is hereby established consisting of eight electors, four of whom shall be selected by the state organizations ofThe people of the State of Michigan hereby find and declare that partisan gerrymandering of legislative districts in Michigan has led to non-competitive and unfair elections, less accountability and more partisanship in government, and the corruption and conflicts of interest caused when elected officials create their own districts; that Michigan has had and likely will continue to have a high level of partisan competition; that there must be reform of the districting process to halt partisan gerrymandering and the problems it causes; and that partisan fairness and competition, keeping communities together, equality of population and respect for minority representation all must be found in legislative districting plans.
To achieve these goals, the independent non-partisan commission on legislative districting shall follow these rules in the stated order when preparing legislative districting plans:
1. Each districting plan shall be created in accordance with the federal constitution and federal law, including but not limited to the federal Voting Rights Act or any successor law.
2. Each district’s population shall be within ±2.5% of the ideal district population for that legislative body.
3. It is the policy and preference of this state that the people of the State of Michigan are best-served by fair and competitive partisan legislative elections. To achieve fair and competitive partisan legislative elections, legislative districts shall be created by the commission as follows:
a. To achieve partisan fairness, fourteen (14) senate districts and forty-one (41) house districts shall have a base party percentage for one major political party of 50% or more, and fourteen (14) senate districts and forty-one (41) house districts shall have a base party percentage for the second major political party of 50% or more.A district with a 50% base party percentage for each major political party shall count as 1 district meeting this requirement, not 2. Except as stated below, the legislative districts established pursuant to this paragraph shall be defined as “Competitive Districts.”
b. To achieve competitive elections, at least four (4) senate districts and nine (9) house districts established as set forth above, shall have a base party percentage for one major political party of between 50% and 53%, and at least four (4) senate districts and nine (9) house districts shall have a base party percentage for the second major political party of between 50% and 53%. For each district in a legislative body with a base party percentage for one major political party between 50% and 53%, there shall be a district in that same legislative body with exactly the same base party percentage for the second major political party. A district with a 50% base party percentage for each major political party shall count as 1 district meeting this requirement, not 2. The legislative districts established pursuant to this paragraph shall be defined as “Swing Districts.”
4. It is the policy and preference of this state that communities should be kept together. In preparing legislative districting plans which adhere to rules 1, 2 and 3 the commission should preserve communities and create compact districts to the extent possible.
5. The commission shall number each legislative district in a regular series, beginning with district 1 in the southeast corner of the state and ending with the highest numbered district in the northwest corner of the state. For purposes of establishing staggered terms within the senate, the commission shall next assign one-half of the senate districts to be elected for two-year terms for the 2010 election only.
6. The commission shall next assign exactly one-half of the “Swing Districts” for the senate to be elected at the same election as the governor. For the 2010 election only, the commission shall next designate one-half of the swing districts as those districts to be assigned two year terms as provided in Rule 5, above. Thereafter, the commission shall next assign one-half of the swing districts for the senate to be elected at the same election as the President of the United States for four-year terms.
7. To maintain the terms of office for senators elected at the same election as the President of the United States, the commission shall assign each senator so elected to a legislative district which has territorial boundaries which most closely resemble the legislative district to which the senator was elected after legislative districts are created pursuant to this article after each federal decennial census, to serve out the remainder of his or her four-year term.
In creating legislative districts, the commission shall use only those rules set forth in this article.The commission shall not consider or use, among other rules, factors or criteria, incumbency or the residence of a candidate or officeholder except to the extent required by the federal constitution and federal law, including the Voting Rights Act or any successor law.
As used in this article these terms are defined as follows:
1. “Major political party” shall mean
each of the two (2) political parties whose candidates for the office of governor received the highest vote at the last general election atin which a governor was elected preceding each apportionment. If a candidate for governor of a third political party has received at such election more than 25 percent20% or more of such gubernatorial vote, the commission shall consist of 12 members, four of whom shall be selected by the state organization of the third political party. One resident of each of the following four regions shall be selected by each political party organization: (1) the upper peninsula; (2) the northern part of the lower peninsula, north of a line drawn along the northern boundaries of the counties of Bay, Midland, Isabella, Mecosta, Newaygo and Oceana; (3) southwestern Michigan, those counties south of region (2) and west of a line drawn along the western boundaries of the counties of Bay, Saginaw, Shiawassee, Ingham, Jackson and Hillsdale; (4) southeastern Michigan, the remaining counties of the state.
No officers or employees of the federal, state or local governments, excepting notaries public and members of the armed forces reserve, shall be eligible for membership on the commission. Members of the commission shall not be eligible for election to the legislature until two years after the apportionment in which they participated becomes effective.
The commission shall be appointed immediately after the adoption of this constitution and whenever apportionment or districting of the legislature is required by the provisions of this constitution. Members of the commission shall hold office until each apportionment or districting plan becomes effective. Vacancies shall be filled in the same manner as for original appointment.
The secretary of state shall be secretary of the commission without vote, and in that capacity shall furnish, under the direction of the commission, all necessary technical services. The commission shall elect its own chairman, shall make its own rules of procedure, and shall receive compensation provided by law. The legislature shall appropriate funds to enable the commission to carry out its activities.
Within 30 days after the adoption of this constitution, and after the official total population count of each federal decennial census of the state and its political subdivisions is available, the secretary of state shall issue a call convening the commission not less than 30 nor more than 45 days thereafter. The commission shall complete its work within 180 days after all necessary census information is available. The commission shall proceed to district and apportion the senate and house of representatives according to the provisions of this constitution. All final decisions shall require the concurrence of a majority of the members of the commission. The commission shall hold public hearings as may be provided by law.
Each final apportionment and districting plan shall be published as provided by law within 30 days from the date of its adoption and shall become law 60 days after publication. The secretary of state shall keep a public record of all the proceedings of the commission and shall be responsible for the publication and distribution of each plan.
If a majority of the commission cannot agree on a plan, each member of the commission, individually or jointly with other members, may submit a proposed plan to the supreme court. The supreme court shall determine which plan complies most accurately with the constitutional requirements and shall direct that it be adopted by the commission and published as provided in this section.
Upon the application of any elector filed not later than 60 days after final publication of the plan, the supreme court, in the exercise of original jurisdiction, shall direct the secretary of state or the commission to perform their duties, may review any final plan adopted by the commission, and shall remand such plan to the commission for further action if it fails to comply with the requirements of this constitution.
thirteen electors with the 4 additional commissioners selected by the third political party. If the commission consists of thirteen electors all voting requirements stated in Section 4 shall be increased by 4.
2. The “base party percentage” of a legislative district is the unweighted average of the base party percentage for the district in each of the three (3) general elections preceding the convening of the commission. The “base party percentage” in each election is calculated as the sum of the votes for a major political party’s eight (8) candidates for the four (4) statewide education boards divided by the sum of the votes for the two major political parties’ sixteen (16) candidates for the four (4) statewide education boards. “Base party percentage” shall be calculated to the nearest one percent. The four (4) statewide education boards are the state board of education, and the governing boards of Michigan State University, University of Michigan and Wayne State University.
3. “Contiguous” means that all areas of a district shall be accessible to all other areas of the district through areas which are part of the district. Areas that meet only at the points of adjoining corners are not contiguous. Island areas are considered to be contiguous to the county of which they are a part. The upper peninsula is considered to be contiguous to the lower peninsula via the Mackinac Bridge. In counties having more than one legislative district, the territory in the same county annexed to or merged with a city between districtings shall become a part of the contiguous legislative district in the city with which it is combined. No such change in the boundaries of a legislative district shall have the effect of removing a legislator from office during his or her term.

Sec. 7. Each senator and representative must be a citizen of the United States, at least 21 years of age, and, except as otherwise provided in this section, an elector of the district he or she represents. The removal of his or her domicile from the district shall be deemed a vacation of the office, except that where such removal results from legislative districting it shall not be so deemed for the remainder of the term of office during which the legislative districting occurs. No person who has been convicted of subversion or who has within the preceding 20 years been convicted of a felony involving a breach of public trust shall be eligible for either house of the legislature.

Sec. 10. No member of the legislature nor any state officer shall be interested directly or indirectly in any contract with the state or any political subdivision thereof which shall cause a substantial conflict of interest. For two years after leaving office, no member of the legislature shall be compensated for communicating directly with members of the legislature, officers, or employees of the State of Michigan on someone else’s behalf (except the State of Michigan or the United States of America) in order to influence their official activities. Within thirty (30) days of becoming a candidate for the legislature or taking the oath of office and annually thereafter no later than May 1 of each year, each candidate or member shall file a report disclosing sources and amounts of outside, earned income exceeding $250, the source of a spouse’s income over $1,000, the amount and type of assets held individually or jointly for investment or the production of income that were worth at least $1,000 at the end of the previous calendar year, and the identity and value of each individual or joint liability exceeding $1,000 owed during the preceding calendar year. The legislature shall further implement this provisionsection by appropriate legislation.

Sec. 12. The state officers compensation commission is created which subject to this section shall determine the salaries and expense allowances of the members of the legislature, the governor, the lieutenant governor, the attorney general, the secretary of state, and the justices of the supreme court. The commission shall consist of 7 members appointed by the governor whose qualifications may be determined by law. Effective January 1, 2009, and notwithstanding other requirements set forth in this section, base salaries for members of the legislature, the governor, the lieutenant governor, the attorney general and the secretary of state shall be those amounts effective on December 31, 2000. Subject to the legislature’s ability to amend the commission’s determinations as provided in this section, starting on December 1, 2010, the commission shall determine the salaries and expense allowances of the members of the legislature, the governor, the lieutenant governor, the attorney general, the secretary of state, and the justices of the supreme court, which determinations shall be the salaries and expense allowances only if the legislature by concurrent resolution adopted by a majority of the members elected to and serving in each house of the legislature approve them. The senate and house of representatives shall alternate on which house of the legislature shall originate the concurrent resolution, with the senate originating the first concurrent resolution.
The concurrent resolution may amend the salary and expense determinations of the state officers compensation commission to reduce the salary and expense determinations by the same proportion for members of the legislature, the governor, the lieutenant governor, the attorney general, the secretary of state, and the justices of the supreme court. The legislature shall not amend the salary and expense determinations to reduce them to below the salary and expense level that members of the legislature, the governor, the lieutenant governor, the attorney general, the secretary of state, and the justices of the supreme court receive on the date the salary and expense determinations are made. If the salary and expense determinations are approved or amended as provided in this section, the salary and expense determinations shall become effective for the legislative session immediately following the next general election. The commission shall meet each 2 years for no more than 15 session days. The legislature shall implement this section by law.

Sec. 17. Each house of the legislature may establish the committees necessary for the efficient conduct of its business and the legislature may create joint committees. On all actions on bills and resolutions in each committee, names and votes of members shall be recorded. Such vote shall be available for public inspection. Notice of all committee hearings and a clear statement of all subjects to be considered at each hearing shall be published in the journal in advance of the hearing. Only those bills or resolutions specifically listed in the notice of a committee hearing by number or letter may be voted on at that committee hearing.

Sec. 52. The conservation and development of the natural resources of the state are hereby declared to be of paramount public concern in the interest of the health, safety and general welfare of the people. The legislature shall provide for the protection of the air, water and other natural resources of the state from pollution, impairment and destruction. The legislature may provide that citizens of this state shall have standing to bring suit in a court of this state to insure such protection and to seek both preliminary and permanent injunctive relief and other remedies to abate the pollution, impairment and destruction of the state’s air, water and other natural resources.

ARTICLE V

Sec. 2. All executive and administrative offices, agencies and instrumentalities of the executive branch of state government and their respective functions, powers and duties, except for the office of governor and lieutenant governor and the governing bodies of institutions of higher education provided for in this constitution, shall be allocated by law among and within not more than 2018 principal departments. They shall be grouped as far as practicable according to major purposes.
Subsequent to the initial allocation, the governor may make changes in the organization of the executive branch or in the assignment of functions among its units which he considers necessary for efficient administration. Where these changes require the force of law, they shall be set forth in executive orders and submitted to the legislature. Thereafter the legislature shall have 60 calendar days of a regular session, or a full regular session if of shorter duration, to disapprove each executive order. Unless disapproved in both houses by a resolution concurred in by a majority of the members elected to and serving in each house, each order shall become effective at a date thereafter to be designated by the governor.

Sec. 3. The head of each principal department shall be a single executive unless otherwise provided in this constitution or by law. The single executives heading principal departments shall include a secretary of state, a state treasurer and an attorney general. When a single executive is the head of a principal department, unless elected or appointed as otherwise provided in this constitution, he shall be appointed by the governor by and with the advice and consent of the senate and he shall serve at the pleasure of the governor. For two years after leaving such elected or appointed office, no department executive shall be compensated for communicating directly with members of the legislature, officers, or employees of the State of Michigan on someone else’s behalf (except the State of Michigan or United States) in order to influence their official activities, or enter into any enterprise that was regulated by the department in which the executive served. The legislature shall implement this section by law.
When a board or commission is at the head of a principal department, unless elected or appointed as otherwise provided in this constitution, the members thereof shall be appointed by the governor by and with the advice and consent of the senate. The term of office and procedure for removal of such members shall be as prescribed in this constitution or by law.
When a board or commission is at the head of a principal department, unless elected or appointed as otherwise provided in this constitution, the members thereof shall be appointed by the governor by and with the advice and consent of the senate. The term of office and procedure for removal of such members shall be as prescribed in this constitution or by law.
On and after July 1, 2009, with the exception of boards or commissions specifically named and created in this constitution and bodies corporate governing educational institutions, the total number of state boards and commissions at any time, including those heading a principal department, shall not exceed two hundred.

Terms of office of any board or commission created or enlarged after the effective date of this constitution shall not exceed four years except as otherwise authorized in this constitution. The terms of office of existing boards and commissions which are longer than four years shall not be further extended except as provided in this constitution.

Sec. 21. The governor, lieutenant governor, secretary of state and attorney general shall be elected for four-year terms at the general election in each alternate even-numbered year. Within thirty (30) days of becoming a candidate for state elective office in the executive branch, or taking the oath of office for a statewide elected office in the executive branch and annually, thereafter, no later than May 1 of each year, each candidate or executive officer shall file a report disclosing sources and amounts of outside, earned income in the same manner and under the same conditions as required of candidates or members of the legislature as provided in Article IV, Section 10 of this constitution. The legislature shall implement this section by law.
The lieutenant governor, secretary of state and attorney general shall be nominated by party conventions in a manner prescribed by law. In the general election one vote shall be cast jointly for the candidates for governor and lieutenant governor nominated by the same party.
Vacancies in the office of the secretary of state and attorney general shall be filled by appointment by the governor.

Sec. 31. For any person who first becomes governor, lieutenant governor, secretary of state or attorney general on or after January 1, 2009, the pension or retiree health benefit earned based on service in that office shall not exceed the highest benefit payable to a retired employee in the classified civil service.

ARTICLE VI

Sec. 2. The supreme court shall consist of sevenfive justices elected at non-partisan elections as provided by law. The term of office shall be eight years and not more than two terms of office shall expire at the same time. Nominations for justices of the supreme court shall be in the manner prescribed by law. Any incumbent justice whose term is to expire may become a candidate for re-election by filing an affidavit of candidacy, in the form and manner prescribed by law, not less than 180 days prior to the expiration of his term.

Sec. 3. One justice of the supreme court shall be selected by the court as its chief justice as provided by rules of the court. He shall perform duties required by the court. The supreme court shall appoint an administrator of the courts and other assistants of the supreme court as may be necessary to aid in the administration of the courts of this state. The administrator shall perform administrative duties assigned by the court. The supreme court shall issue rules providing that documents and records relating to administration of all courts shall be made public and open to inspection.

Sec. 8. The court of appeals shall consist initially of ninetwenty one judges who shall be nominated and elected at non-partisan elections from three (3) districts drawn on county lines and as nearly as possible of equal population, as provided by law. The supreme court may prescribe by rule that the court of appeals sit in divisions and for the terms of court and the times and places thereof. Each such division shall consist of not fewer than three judges. The number of judges comprising the court of appeals may be increased, and the districts from which they are elected may be changed by law.

Sec. 11. The state shall be divided into judicial circuits along county lines in each of which there shall be elected one or more circuit judges as provided by law. Sessions of the circuit court shall be held at least four times in each year in every county organized for judicial purposes. Each circuit judge shall hold court in the county or counties within the circuit in which he is elected, and in other circuits as may be provided by rules of the supreme court. The number of judges may be changed and circuits may be created, altered and discontinued by law and the number of judges shall be changed and circuits shall be created, altered and discontinued on recommendation of the supreme court to reflect changes in judicial activity. By no later than January 1, 2010, the legislature shall add ten circuit court judgeships to the number of judgeships in effect on November 4, 2008, to be allocated to circuits in the manner set forth in this section. Except as otherwise provided in this constitution, nNo change in the number of judges or alteration or discontinuance of a circuit shall have the effect of removing a judge from office during his term.

Sec. 18. Except as stated in this section, sSalaries of justices of the supreme court, of the judges of the court of appeals, of the circuit judges within a circuit, and of the probate judges within a county or district, shall be uniform, and may be increased but shall not be decreased during a term of office except and only to the extent of a general salary reduction in all other branches of government or as provided for in Article IV. For any person who first becomes a justice or judge on or after January 1, 2009, the pension or retiree health benefit earned based on such service as a justice or judge shall not exceed the highest benefit amount payable to a retired employee in the classified civil service.
Each of the judges of the circuit court shall receive an annual salary as provided by law. In addition to the salary received from the state, each circuit judge may receive from any county in which he regularly holds court an additional salary as determined from time to time by the board of supervisors of the county. In any county where an additional salary is granted, it shall be paid at the same rate to all circuit judges regularly holding court therein.
Notwithstanding the foregoing, effective January 1, 2009, the salaries of supreme court justices, judges of the court of appeals, circuit judges, probate judges and district court judges received from the state of Michigan, shall be reduced by fifteen per cent, and may be adjusted thereafter in the manner provided in this constitution.

Sec. 19. (1) The supreme court, the court of appeals, the circuit court, the probate court and other courts designated as such by the legislature shall be courts of record and each shall have a common seal. Justices and judges of courts of record must be persons who are licensed to practice law in this state.
(2) To be qualified to serve as a judge of a trial court, a judge of the court of appeals, or a justice of the supreme court, a person shall have been admitted to the practice of law for at least 5 years. This subsection shall not apply to any judge or justice appointed or elected to judicial office prior to the date on which this subsection becomes part of the constitution.
(3) No person shall be elected or appointed to a judicial office after reaching the age of 70 years.
(4) Jury lists shall, to the extent practicable, be representative of the population of the jurisdiction from which they are drawn. The legislature shall implement this provision by appropriate legislation.

Sec. 30. (1) AThe judicial tenure commission is establishedshall be replaced with a judicial performance commission consisting of nine persons selected for three-year terms as follows: Four members shall be judges elected by the judges of the courts in which they serve; one shall be a court of appeals judge, one a circuit judge, one a probate judge and one a judge of a court of limited jurisdiction. Three shall be members of the state bar who shall be elected by the members of the state bar of whom one shall be a judge and two shall not be judges. Two shall be appointed by the governor; the members appointed by the governor shall not be judges, retired judges or members of the state bar. Terms shall be staggered as provided by rule of the supreme court. (a) five citizens of the state who are not lawyers or active or retired members of the judiciary, one of whom shall be appointed by the governor, one of whom shall be appointed by the speaker of the house, one of whom shall be appointed by the house minority leader, one of whom shall be appointed by the senate majority leader, and one of whom shall be appointed by the senate minority leader; (b) two lawyers appointed by the governor; and (c) one court of appeals judge and one circuit court judge, appointed by the supreme court. No member of the commission shall serve more than a total of nine years. In order to create staggered terms, the following initial appointments shall be for a two year term, which may be followed by one or more full terms: the initial citizen members appointed by the house minority leader and the senate minority leader; one of the lawyer members appointed by the governor; and the circuit court judge appointed by the supreme court. Vacancies shall be filled by the appointing power. To the extent possible the commission’s membership shall be representative of the state’s population. The commission’s budget shall be set separately from any court or agency.
(2) On recommendation of tThe judicial tenureperformance commission, the supreme court may censure, suspend with or without salary, retire or remove a justice or judge for conviction of a felony, physical or mental disability which prevents the performance of judicial duties, misconduct in office, persistent failure to perform his or her duties, habitual intemperance or conduct that is clearly prejudicial to the administration of justice. The supreme courtThe commission shall make rules implementing this section and providing for confidentiality and privilege of proceedings.for the filing of complaints and the conduct of proceedings. The commission’s formal proceedings and papers shall be open to the public. A judge affected by a decision or order of the commission may petition for review in the supreme court. A supreme court justice affected by a decision or order of the commission may petition for review by a panel of five court of appeals judges selected by lot. The reviewing body may reverse, affirm or modify the commission’s decision, based on the record of the commission’s proceedings. Except as otherwise provided for in this constitution, the decision on review shall be final.

(Comments from old site:)

Now, some minor editorial comments

Article II, section 1: The 26th Amendment to the Constitution of the United States already changed the voting age to 18.

Article V, section 3: It’s not a typo on my part. That paragraph that begins, “When a board or commission…”, is in the RMGN text twice.

Who is Doing What and Why in the Reform Michigan Government Now

For Your Information.

I would offer a even darker motivation for the RMGN petition than those already circulating. While popular legislative pay cuts and other miscellany serve as an obvious loss leader to the masses, and redistricting serves as a justum bellum for unions and partisan democrats, there is a cleverly obscured truth behind the overly comprehensive measure; its underlying purpose is to effect de facto Tort Reform. The Michigan Trial Attorneys and Mark Brewer already know about it, and you may have figured it out. First the alliance; Brewer is obsessed with the Michigan Supreme Court, and Cliff Taylor, and so are most of the would-be Personal Injury lawyers now scrambling to eek out a living, eating scraps off the Bernstein table, or churning “actual attorney fee” lemon law and Fair Debt Collection Practices Act cases. Clearly, Governor Engler’s legacy left a solid majority of (former) insurance industry advocates in control of the Supreme Court. This has devastated plaintiff’s recoveries in Michigan, and will continue to do so until “something is done”.

So, since it costs $10 million to (maybe) unseat one justice, and since it takes at least two and maybe three justices to swing the pendulum back toward plaintiffs cases, this proposal is a perfect opportunity for Trial Lawyers use cheaper non-profit campaign dollars to engage citizen initiative “lobbying” to literally eliminate the positions of two opposition justices without spending a dime of hard campaign money, and to spend the hard money on a weakened Cliff Taylor, and achieve de facto tort reform in Michigan. Trial lawyers know that they could never pass substantive pro-plaintiff tort reform in the current rarefied atmosphere of Michigan politics, especially when the Insurers can bring such massive forces to bear to maintain their advantage. Trial Lawyers also know that the “investment” in this proposal would be recouped through attorney fees in just a handful of the doomed cases in the trial and appellate systems right now, not to mention the perfectly meritorious causes of action rotting on the vine as a result of the chilling effect that the Court’s dramatic reversals in no-fault and “open and obvious” jurisprudence have caused.

So, since the Democrats are desperate to game redistricting, and the people are in a generally foul mood, the trial attorneys saw they could effect tort reform and no one would ever know it. They support liberals and liberal causes anyway, so who is to prove they are behind this when their financial presence in the campaign is consistent, though larger than usual, in this election cycle. I can’t prove it, and offer considered opinions only; all I have is circumstantial evidence which is easily shouted down in the court of public opinion. And when the August 10th filing date rolls around, the people will learn a big fat zero from the Campaign Finance disclosures. A series of obscure 501(c)4 corporations, funded in turn by some 501(c)3 corporations, who in turn may end up being funded by Trial Lawyers and George Soros (The Great and Powerful OZ) .The only chance of detection is if they get sloppy with the earmarked pass- through donations, but Michigan’s feckless elections investigators won’t investigate anything important. They even refused to investigate a $103,000 loan made directly and openly from a public body to a campaign committee, used to pay for a media ad campaign for the “Health Source” expansion millage in Saginaw County, just 29 days before the election. The loan was paid back to Health Source the next day after the election, with campaign donations from the two big contractors who then knew the construction contract was a go. The excuse for tax funded political activity? A provision meant to allow the cure of good faith mistakes that says a prohibited contribution is not a contribution at all if it is repaid within 30 days. But I digress……

What is my circumstantial evidence in this case? Simply this: If the real purpose of this proposal was, as represented to the union, to put the party in a position to avoid judicial tampering with gerrymandering in 2011, then this purpose was clearly served by removing the recourse of appeal to the Supreme Court. Since one provision the proposal already removed any possibility of redistricting appeals, then why expand the proposal with a second, seemingly redundant provision to “gut the GOP” court. The reason, I suggest, is clear. This is not about public policy, or even an elephant versus a donkey; the real fight between is between insurers and plaintiff’s lawyers.

All involved are made to look like prostitutes - from the plaintiff’s bar, the Democratic party, the union, the insurance industry, former Governor Engler, and especially the jurists who have effected such dramatic and devastating judicial tort reforms of their own, and who are now forced to lay bare their naked self interest to prevent this measure from making the ballot by means of a dangerous new legal theory that will no doubt cost the court significant credibility (a result already calculated by the Brewer cabal).

And don’t forget Governor Granholm, who, in order to block a Republican block of the RMGN petition certification, refused to make a Republican appointment to Board of State Canvassers, as specifically mandated by the constitution, which is necessary to fill the vacancy caused on that board last week when the Republican member of that solemn body, which is responsible for certifying all elections and maintaining the integrity of the electoral system, had to resign due to his ownership interest of Sterling Corp., a major political PR firm heavily vested in the anti-RMGN cause, and many other election campaigns in Michigan. How did he get put on the board in the first place?

Finally, consider the two track strategy by Michigan legislators, who are suing RMGN on the novel concept that there is an implied single subject restriction for proposed Amendments to the Michigan Constitution, while simultaneously hatching a Trojan horse plan to use an attractive legislative pay cut as a loss leader for a Ballot Question to repeal or gut term limits. The ambitious Mark Meadows, an officeholder with long experience, should read his own rulebook first. Joint Rules for the Michigan Legislature (Rule 13) states, “The same joint resolution shall not propose an amendment to the Constitution on more than one subject matter.” Legislative salary Term Limits repeal are two different subjects. So the 148 guys who make the rules in Lansing would have to break their own rules to log roll this question past the voters, after over 400,000 petition signers put it on the ballot, and 60% of the voters approved it, when Term Limits was enacted in 1993. That won’t pass the smell test. This rule is a self-limiting rule, but a legal rule nonetheless. There is no actual single subject restriction in the constitution itself.

The litigation against RMGN will be undermined by this inconsistent plotting, which is, by the way, actually an attempt to take advantage of a clear point of Michigan constitutional law. On the one hard this is a log rolling technique to try to offer a popular pay decrease in return for a yes vote to gut term term limits in a Hobson’s Choice election, but of course the main urgent concern right now is a contingency to make sure that if RMGN gets on the ballot, a Joint Resolution is put on the ballot that has a provision that conflicts with RMGN petition, and the pay decrease provides that conflict. In Michigan, even if both questions passed by a majority, if two ballot questions have even one minor conflicting provision between them, then the one with the least votes would lose even if both get a majority yes vote. This is where the Meadows strategy breaks down - even it a pay cut ballot question could win a majority vote log rolled with a term limits anchor holding it down, a dubious proposition, there is no way that rational politicians who want to beat RMGN by just one vote (so as to kill it) would ever hang an anchor like term limits on the pay cut proposal precisely because they know they need more than a Majority vote to win - they actually need to get one more vote than RMGN on the assumption that RMGN wins a majority vote too. So if term limits is the main objective, they risk loss to RMGN by including the conflicting provision of the pay cut. Even the now-notorious power point, which laid bare the naked partisan purpose of RMGN to get control of gerrymandering and remove GOP justices from the Supreme Court, explained why the measure did not go after term limits, at panel 26 it says, “Including a term limits repeal or revision could tank the reform proposal.”.

If killing RMGN is their main objective, they risk loss to RMGN by including the repeal or extension of term limits on themselves, since over 66% of voters still lover term limits. If they want to beat RMGN, then they cannot afford to lose any support, and should tactically use a silver bullet of pay cut alone, without the term limits complication. Done that way, it is a perfect technical kill. Either way, the strategy is flawed because it undermines the claims that RMGN is illegally comprehensive. Will they get away with it? That depends on your of definition of “they”. One or another “they” will get away with something, but all I really know for sure is that, as usual, “we” probably won’t be the winners. We will see millions of tax dollars poured into this heavy handed bitter partisan infighting. I, for one, want my money back!

My proposed TV schedule for fall 2008

My TV schedule for last fall garnered quite a bit of ridicule enthusiasm, so I’m doing it again.

Updated July 6, 2008: Now with more shows!

Scheduled prime time

Station 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30 10:00 10:30
Monday
Fox
Prison Break
NBC Chuck Heroes My Own Worst Enemy
ABC
Samantha Who?
CBS
How I Met Your Mother
Tuesday
Fox House Fringe
ABC
Eli Stone
CBC Rick Mercer Report This Hour Has 22 Minutes
CBS
The Mentalist
Wednesday
NBC Knight Rider
ABC Pushing Daisies
CBC Little Mosque on the Prairie
Thursday
NBC My Name Is Earl 30 Rock The Office
ABC
Life on Mars
CW Smallville
CBS
Eleventh Hour
Friday
NBC
Life
NBC
20/20
CBC
Doctor Who
Saturday

Nothing.
Sunday
ABC
Desperate Housewives
Fox The Simpsons
Family Guy American Dad

Other shows

  • America’s Test Kitchen (PBS)
  • CBS Sunday Morning (CBS)
  • The McLaughlin Group (PBS)
  • 60 Minutes (CBS)
  • At the Movies with Ebert & Roeper (ABC)
  • The NewsHour with Jim Lehrer (PBS)
  • The Late Show with David Letterman (CBS)
  • The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (CBS)

Not yet on schedule

  • Dollhouse (Fox)
  • 24 (Fox)
  • Class Dismissed (Fox)
  • The Cleveland Show (Fox)
  • Medium (NBC)
  • The Office Spin-Off (NBC)
  • Lost (ABC)
  • Scrubs (ABC)
  • NOVA (PBS)
  • NOVA scienceNOW (PBS)

Key

favorite, comedy, drama, comedy-drama, cartoon, fantasy, news, satirical news, other

Elsa Marie Wenzlaff

Received from Jason on Friday:

Elsa Marie Wenzlaff (10 lbs 1 oz) was born at 10:56 this morning. Mother and daughter are doing well.

Congratulations, Angie and Jason!

Allan's 9 month check-up

Today’s stats are as follows: Length: 30 1/2 inches (greater than 95th percentile) Weight: 24 lbs, 11 oz. (90th percentile) Head size: 18 1/4 inches (75th percentile)

The vault with almost every LEGO set ever made

LEGO’s Memory Lane vault is something to behold. As an aside, I should note that I didn’t realize the LEGO Space Galaxy Explorer was loved by so many.

Applications for babies and toddlers

I’ve been meaning to write an application to let kids bang on keyboards since before Katrina was born. Thankfully the world need not wait for me to get around to this.

Elena and Allan really enjoy AlphaBaby — I’ve configured it to speak the letters pressed, display random pictures we’ve taken in the past year for other keys and mouse clicks, and draw colored stars on mouse movement. Allan tried Baby Smash yesterday on my work laptop and enjoyed it — it has a different yet equally enjoyable set of features. He also enjoyed pulling off the H and J keys from the keyboard.

(Comment from old site:)

These are great pictures!

These are great pictures! Why wouldn’t the Town Kids love computers?

The original order of colors in a 24-count Crayola® crayons box


left





right
back violet red scarlet indigo green yellow gray dandelion cerulean apricot

yellow orange yellow green white red violet red orange carnation pink blue violet blue green
front violet (purple) orange brown black yellow red green blue

(Comments from old site:)

Wow. Have you thought of

Wow. Have you thought of some possible hobbies?

I have 3 boxes of

I have 3 boxes of jumbo-sized paperclips that seem to have gotten all jumbled together. I need someone to count them and ensure that there are, indeed, 200 clips in each box. I also need them to be in neat stacks, facing the same direction. Can you help me with that after you’re done with the crayons?

WHAT HAVE WE CREATED?????

WHAT HAVE WE CREATED????? You kids are all ocd candidates.Love Ya!

An open letter to the driver of that shiny black car this morning

It is a left-turn lane. It’s labeled with road markings and signs and everything. See the red circle in the picture there? Yeah, that means you’re supposed to follow that green line. I follow the blue line. (Please note: The colored lines are not actually there in real life.) You were not supposed to go straight, and that’s why I got in front of you.

You also did not succeed in scaring me to move over with your aggressive driving because your car is all nice and shiny and black with fancy tinted windows and mine’s a ’96 Saturn that has been repaired with Super Glue and red tape.

Reporting live from Lot 2

It’s 6:19 AM here in the tent camping area of Lot 2 at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway. The other three are still sleeping, but I’m hoping that as everyone around us wakes up, they will too.

It was crazy last night, but it was tame back where we are. Next year Amy wants to go even earlier, and it’d been nice to have had a fire going. No loss, though, because I was pretty tired.

Oh, there’s much more movement from the others. Time to get ready!

Dream about the moonlight on the Wabash

My radio was at work. I am set for Sunday.

Forecast for Sunday at Indy: Sunny, with a high near 79. South southeast wind between 6 and 9 mph.

Calling ALL interior decorators!

Please! I need to know whether these curtains look right! In the JCPenney Catalog, the image of these exact curtains looked gorgeous. I decided against using the clips (as pictured in the catalog). Keep in mind that the curtains do have to be hemmed (and pressed). What’s your opinion?

Apparently Lakeshore did not prepare me adequately for being the proper homemaker. I have know idea how to decorate my house! The opposite window will most likely have just the multicolored curtain, shears, and a swag at the top. I’m still waiting for my installer (ahem…) to help me with that side.

(Comments from old site:)

Okay, we got it today!~

I think the rod needs to go higher and then maybe get holdbacks to pull them back and leave the sheers down. They have gorgeous metal ones, probably to match the rod. That is just my opinion. They are beautiful though!

Oh!

You mean, the rods should go above the top (half-moon) window? Yikes-then I’d have to order new curtains for that length! Hmm. The holdbacks are a good idea—actually there are fabric ones that came with the curtains, but I never considered the metal ones. I will have to ponder. Thank you for your help!

Well, maybe just try the

Well, maybe just try the metal hold backs. They might help the most. I hope that works! Have a great weekend

Like Midnight Mass, but longer and with more chases

Brad attends the midnight showing of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

On a whim, my friend Ralf from work and I bought tickets to see the new Indiana Jones flick. I enjoyed it a lot, but now I’m pretty tired and am going to bed. It suffices to say that if you liked the first three, and if you don’t have a fundamental problem with sequels, you’ll like this one, too.

A test: Think back to when you first saw the other two sequels, especially if you saw them in theaters. At the time, were you bothered by Indy’s companions? Or the use of broad stereotypes for his opponents? How about the basing of the stories on unbelievable mythologies that were incongruous with those of the previous films? If you were, you may be bothered by the same sorts of things here. However, if you were bothered by any of this, did you eventually get over it?

It’s more Indiana Jones. Enjoy it.

(Comment from old site:)

The monkeys were a bit much

The monkeys were a bit much for me. 8^) Other than that, I liked it.

Brad vs. oxygen sensor: Brad ties game at buzzer, wins in OT

The last two things I had to do for the Saturn were to get an oil change and replace the post-catalytic oxygen sensor.

Today I took Elena out just to get out of the house, and we ended up at Wal-Mart for no particular reason. While there, I discovered to my surprise that Wal-Mart, or at least ours, does oil changes, with the nicest part being the fact that you can shop while they do it. Apparently they’re not allowed to advertise the fact that they do this, nor are they allowed to have external signs about it — something about zoning.

That left only the oxygen sensor. I tried removing it yesterday, but those things are, to put it mildly, difficult to move. I tried using a special ⅞” socket and running the car for a while to let things heat up, but when that didn’t work I checked more information online. People tend to use lots of penetrating oil, some heat things up with at least a propane torch, and some mentioned leaving the old one in and tapping a new hole.

Before Elena and I left the house, I called a local garage, Mo’s Garage and Towing. They removed the old sensor and put the new one I bought on Amazon.com, and they did it for fifty bucks. I would have spent somewhat more than that had I not done the other parts like checking the code and buying the sensor myself, so I still came out ahead.

Things I accomplished this weekend

Because Helen and I reviewed all our actions regarding home improvement and automobile maintenance, and because my employer asked all its employees to take a couple days of vacation this month, I found myself doing some things around the house. Here’s a list of at least some of the things I got done from Thursday through Sunday:

  • Cleaned the lens on Katrina’s camera
  • Repaired the driver-side mirror in the Saturn using Super Glue
  • Repaired center console in Saturn
  • Fixed the speaker rattle in the Saturn’s driver door
  • Fixed the lock in the Saturn’s front passenger door
  • Fixed the molding on the Saturn’s right rear passenger door
  • Rerouted dangling cable below Saturn (and crushed the Saturn’s jack when it failed — thank God I wasn’t under the car. I bought a much better jack for it at Meijer)
  • Replaced the broken brake light on the Saturn
  • Patched the stoplight lens and backup-light lens on the Saturn
  • Patched the stoplight lens on the Odyssey
  • Ordered new CrocsRx Relief for Helen
  • Read and cleared codes on Saturn causing “Service Engine Soon” light to come on using a tool I purchased
  • Purchased replacement oxygen sensor for Saturn and researched what I’ll need to do to replace it
  • Replaced broken sprinkler head
  • Oiled hinges in pantry
  • Oiled chair in living room
  • Bought new drywall for attic entrance in garage
  • Repaired several holes and gouges in walls around the house
  • Ordered new coffee maker for Helen, a programmable one with auto shutoff
  • Ordered new dishwasher; will be delivered on Tuesday, at which time I will install it myself
  • Replaced the fan in the master bathroom with one roughly six times more powerful (also required new duct work and framing in the attic, cutting ceiling drywall, caulking, etc.)
  • Patched and painted the wall in the first-floor bathroom (after removing shoddy first attempt)
  • Painted latches for shutters in master bathroom
  • Installed MacGourmet, a slick recipe organizer for Helen’s Mac, and input most of the recipes she had in separate files on her computer

Phew.

Making things simpler

Recently I’ve started trying to improve my productivity by making things simpler. Some of the things I’ve done to do this:

  • Use an RSS newsreader. On my PC, I’m using FeedDemon, which also synchronizes with their site so I can read my news feeds when I’m on another computer such as Helen’s Mac. With it, I can see right away when dozens of sites like Economist.com, Ars Technica, or Sarah or Amy’s blogs are updated without having to spend time visiting each site.

  • Use a task management system. I’ve read a bit about a system called GTD. I’ve also put most of the home tasks I have into a program called OmniFocus, which unfortunately is only available for Macs. I’ve begun investigating alternatives for my PC, but I have yet to find something with the elegance, speed, and convenience of OmniFocus. Thinking Rock, which is free, comes close, and I may begin using something like it for work.

  • Keep inboxes empty. I actually took some time and completely emptied my inboxes. (Check out Inbox Zero for information on how you can attempt this as well.) As a result of emptying my inboxes, I get a bunch of actions, which then go into the task management system.

I’m liking my new system.

The water challenge

For lunch today, I got myself a glass of water to drink. Helen asked for water from the jug she purchased at Meijer. I tasted water from each glass, then told Helen I couldn’t tell the difference if my life depended on it.

Helen insists she can taste the difference between water from our RO unit and other bottled water. We decided to administer a taste test to Helen.

I put water from the RO unit and from the jug she bought from Meijer into three glasses. I didn’t tell her which was which, nor did I tell her which water type got two glasses. Her mission was to pick out the odd glass and tell me what kind of water was in it. (I had read about this technique for taste testing, but I couldn’t find where I’d read it.) There were six (23 – 2) possibilities, ignoring the option of tricking her by putting the same water in all three.

Helen picked one glass as our RO water and the other two as Meijer water, failing to identify one of the two glasses as RO water. I did a little victory dance. Katrina and Elena, who were eating lunch at the time, enjoyed the entire spectacle.

In all fairness, I should mention that she only had a small amount from each glass. It’s possible that drinking a larger amount would help her identify the water sources. At the very least, this proves that the water is not as dramatically different as some have insisted.

(Comments from old site:)

Water

Today, Brad tried to trick me. I asked for a glass of water. He turned on the RO unit and brought me a glass. I drank the entire glass and declared that this was, indeed, the Meijer water. Brad confessed.

A minor clarification

I was loud in turning on the drinking water faucet and moving the Meijer jug to intentionally obfuscate the kind of water she was getting. In addition, she knows I always give her her precious store-bought water. Like she said, she drank the entire glass, then said it was the Meijer water. I said, “Yep.” Hardly a confession on my part.